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freebird-new-moonFor the past week, the song “Free Bird” has been playing in my head non-stop. I attribute this phenomenon to what my sister and I like to call the “Cosmic D.J.” It is that part of universal spirit that wants to give us messages via music. I’ve received messages from those who have passed on and even gentle nudges from guides in this way. Well, with that said, the Cosmic D.J. has been working overtime lately to make sure that I get the message – Free Bird, Free Bird, Free Bird – over and over and over. From the time that I wake until the time I go to sleep and any wakeful moments in between, there again is Free Bird playing relentlessly in my head! The song became so constant that I actually feared that it would drive me insane. In fact, as I am writing this post, I can hear the familiar slide guitar solo of the intro playing in my mind – although not as intense or inescapable as it was last week. More on that later…

I’ve written before on the passing of my beloved son, Sky. He passed into spirit two years ago (the anniversary date is in a couple of days.) Of course, I am very aware that the anniversary date is coming up soon and all the sorrow that the date brings me and my family each year. I am still trying to heal, although I have been unable (or unwilling) to write, hold workshops, or retreats. The loss of him is great and even-though I know that his spirit is okay, I still miss him tremendously… and it is hard to move forward at all.

A couple of days ago, my husband and I went to one of our favorite places @BuddhaHappy for a new mala and reading for him (not for me. this was a gift for him). What occurred instead was although unplanned, quite magical. Yes, my husband got his mala and reading, but when I went to take my credit card out of my wallet, the card in my hand was something different entirely!

When I looked at the card I had removed from my wallet, I saw that it was not my credit card, instead, I was holding my son’s driver’s license. When I showed it to Pim, she had many strong vibrations that she shared with me. She told me that my son needed me to go back to writing books, holding workshops, and helping others. She said that my sadness and stagnation was preventing my son from moving on into what is his to do now in the spirit realm – whatever that is. She also said that getting back to work would help me to heal and that in turn would help my son’s spirit to do the work he needs to do. She told me that if I can help others, then I must help when I can. That I will heal in helping others. And to give to a charity in Sky’s name.

She also recommended that I take my old mala and dedicate it to Sky and place it with his ashes. I was not ready to let go of my mala. I love it, it is amethyst – my birthstone -and it has beautiful silver angel wings on the large amethyst guru bead. This mala was also created for me as protection, so I treasure it and have intended to keep it for life. As you can imagine, I was resistant not only to releasing my protection mala, but also to truly releasing my son, as I said as much. The thought of both made me feel very sad. To prepare for dedicating my old mala, we strung a new mala out of rose quartz for this new stage in my life and grieving process. However, if I really want to heal, then I must take my prescription and do what is recommended. Goodness knows that doing it my way has not worked.

Later that evening, I attended a New Moon Circle with @samanthamarcum_healing wearing both of my malas, old and new. The circle was attended by many wise women exuding beautiful energy. During the ceremony, I asked that the group help me to bless the mala for my son and to help him on his journey. The angel wings represented that. Many times during the night, I was told that Sky wanted to “fly” and he wanted to be “free.”

When I returned home, I took my favorite amethyst mala that had been blessed by so many that day and placed it with Sky’s ashes. At that point, I began to understand the song of the Cosmic D.J. – “Free Bird” was playing non-stop because Sky, per his name needs to fly and I need to get back to work and seriously try to heal my broken heart. I’m still trying, but at least that is going forward. Who knows what my future holds, but I am willing to stay present to find out. Namaste <3

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